Can You Say Awk-waaard?

Monday, February 04, 2013 – Day 6

It was yet another hazy and humid hot day in Kaohsiung. So much for winter in Taiwan. It’s weird that I’m the only one who is never wearing a jacket – I’m always sticky due to the humidity, which my hair is loving (really, my hair looks so shiny!). Yet my aunt and grandma always worry that I’m cold. I see all the Taiwanese people here and they are wearing full on winter clothing. I laugh to myself and now I realize how other states in the United States laugh at Southern Californians complaining about cold weather. It really is probably warm when it is winter in Los Angeles. On the other hand, Taiwanese people might be just layering to protect themselves from sun damage, so who is the one laughing now?

Now back to today… Somebody got their exercise on, my dad! I tagged along with my dad to watch him play golf with his friend and to play paparazzi for the day. He played two nine holes and it took about four hours for them to complete it. At least I wasn’t alone being a bystander. My dad’s other friend who drove us there was also tagging along to watch. Well, more like, he had no choice since he was our ride.


Action Photo 1: Dad golfing in Taiwan.

golf taiwan

Action Photo 2: Dad golfing in Taiwan.

golf taiwan

Action Photo 3: Dad golfing in Taiwan.

After my dad and his friend completed their first nine holes, the other bystander friend was like, “OK, done, let’s go eat at this restaurant right here.” He was not shy in showing his displeasure in being there. My dad and his friend are like, “Oh yeah! Go ahead, just eat something and chillax while we go on our second round.” They were happy that this other friend and I were just going to be out of their peripheral since I’m sure we were being a distraction. Not to point fingers but this other man was playing full on Chinese soup operas on his iPad at full volume while out on the golf course. That thing was loud! LOL

dried pond

Dried out pond in golf course with lots of golf balls.

bridge in gold course

Golf course had an Asian theme going on. Looked really pretty.

little turtle in big pond

Little turtle sunbathing.

Here are three action photos in sequence:

golf taiwan

Sequence 1: Dad golfing in Taiwan.

golf taiwan

Sequence 2: Dad golfing in Taiwan.

golf taiwan

Sequence 3: Dad golfing in Taiwan.

So here I am feeling awkward since I am stranded with my dad’s friend. He knows me from when I was five years old or something and he has even met my mom at her prime, during her 20’s. So at least we are not total strangers. But this was not the awkward story of today’s events.

My dad’s friend and me had a light meal – he had noodle soup, I picked at his dumplings and cabbage side dishes. I had green bean desert and an iced milk coffee. While we were both eating, he was watching his Chinese soup opera and I was browsing through a Taiwanese shopping catalog targeted for women. After I was done with this magazine, there was no avoiding talking any longer. We had to chit chat.

As I picked at the food while he was watching a sex scene of his soup opera, a couple of other golfers who were snacking were trying to find the source of this sex noise. My dad’s friend did not give a shit about the sex noise. I was slightly embarrassed but since it was obviously not coming from me, I brushed it off. Although this was awkward, this is still not it.

So we chatted and chatted about whatever. Then he wanted to go for a smoke and he insisted I use his iPad while he went smoking. I kept on insisting I was fine, I don’t want to listen to Chinese songs or browse the interwebz on someone else’s computer. But he wanted to show off his iPad, I’m guessing, because he was doing a demo of how to navigate through this complex piece of equipment called the iPadz. So here I am playing dumb and going along with “Oh, is that how you use it?” While I’m thinking, “Just go smoke your cigarette already, I ain’t touching the iPadz.”

So here is the awkward. As he is going through his demo of how to use the iPadz, he scrolls down through his bookmarks and there it was – in plain CAPITAL letters: “*FREE PORNO*PORNO VIDEO CLIPS*FREE PORNO*” I wanted to burst out laughing right there and then.

Come on now… If you are going to let someone else use your iPad, at least keep your bookmarks to yourself. And really? You are 58 years old, why still porno? May be I am so naive and think that at that age porno is not that interesting hahahaha But this is my dad’s friend, I hold him to a certain standard of prude-ness. Which he obviously failed with flying colors. Anyway… So he leaves and I absolutely do not want to touch his iPad now. Ugh, the fingers that have touched it with who knows what bodily substances have splattered that touch screen.

I won’t tell my dad of course. That is just embarrassing, more so for my own sake since the word “porno” has never come up in a conversation with my dad.

After that we headed back home and someone else got their exercise on! That’s right, MEEEE! I ran until I was feeling like I was going to barf and did lunges until my legs were screaming vulgarities at me. Oh, happy day. This past week has been rough in the midsection… I feel like I am carrying a three month old baby.

PS: Tomorrow post is going to have HOT SPRINGS. Ahh! So pretty and relaxing…….

PPS: I took great action photos huh? *pat on the back*

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